wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize