Swine flu is the new snow day.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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