If i come over, it means nothing
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
pop tarts are not kleenex
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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