I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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