Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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