Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
