going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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