that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Terrible idea I love it
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
