Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
