Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
