I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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