After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
