i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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