When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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