Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
