i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
