she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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