Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
