I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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