I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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