If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
