is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
