If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize