I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
