More tranny stories later!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
