Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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