U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
