Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
