this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
