at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
