Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
