at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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