She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
