hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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