Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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