Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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