I just pynch a tree in the face
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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