I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
