also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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