So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
MIDGETS
????
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
