Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Randomize
