ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
