Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
