And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
