xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
