if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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