know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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