I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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