I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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