it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
