I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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