He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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