I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
