Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The Olympian is in my bed
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
