who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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