I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The air was thick with penises
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
