Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
