Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
