from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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