when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
