I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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