God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
