I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
