Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
