We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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