Jerry, you need to find god
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
