I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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