Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
