some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
