so explain again why im purple
no
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
