Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
