Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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