Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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